Thirty-five years… that’s thirty-five years collectively of playing and coaching the sport I fell in love with in the eighth grade—thirty-five years of practices, matches, tournaments, and playoffs. I have played high school, Division 1 college, competitive beach, and adult leagues. I also coached high school, various levels of Club, and College Clinics. Family happened, and my daughters were growing up fast. I stepped back from Volleyball. I didn’t want to miss my girls growing up. Years went by, and my kids grew older and more independent. I found myself with free time, missing the sport I had been so in love with.
An acquaintance, who later became a friend and mentor, suggested I try officiating. I gave it serious consideration and thought, “How hard could it be? I know this game!” The encouragement from my family and friends was I can’t wait to see you on TV officiating the Olympics!” and “Nobody knows more about volleyball than you do!”
So, after weighing my options, I went over to the “dark side” and became an official. I had great expectations of moving up at a rapid pace. I envisioned achieving new patches, top-level matches, and championships in record time. After all, I know so much about Volleyball. Little did I know about how much I didn’t know.
I started with high school matches, and it was a simple transition. Watch rotations, call doubles, blow the whistle. Matches moved along smoothly. Then I had my wake-up call. I had a match with some very experienced coaches (who also happen to be high-level officials). The coaches took turns questioning my calls, asking for clarification, and reviewing the rule verbiage. They sent their captains to ask questions while they talked to my R2, making exasperated gestures in my direction. The match felt like it ground to a halt. I felt the pressure of every call I made and the points I awarded. Never in my life had I wanted to become more invisible than in that moment, I couldn’t wait for it to be over.
I should have been more prepared. I swore to myself I’d never be in that position again. I read the rule book cover to cover and watched educational videos online. I learned about additional officiating opportunities with USAV in the winter, including tournaments every weekend. I signed up for the Boston Volleyball Festival. Utterly ignorant of the logistics, I walked into the 7 am Officials Meeting. So many officials!! I sat in the back, waiting for the meeting to start. As the Head Officials went through the tournament expectations, rule changes, and basic procedures, I was right back to wanting to be invisible. A whole other rule set? Separate rules for different age groups? Different warm-up procedures? What had I gotten myself into? I would not have made it through that day if it weren’t for some guardian officials looking out for me. I sat in the Referee Room and listened to stories and scenarios from these seasoned officials. I asked a lot of questions. With the help and support of those officials, I managed to make it through that day and the next. I’ll never forget, nor will I be more thankful for them!
I dedicated myself to becoming the best Official I could be and aspired to advance in certification level. I have to admit, the road here hasn’t been smooth. Someone told me that I would make mistakes and fail miserably at times. Those who know me know that that was not easy for me to accept. Someone told me to be patient and “not chase the patch”. I couldn’t stand to be evaluated and saw it as a time for being criticized and picked apart. I wondered why I wasn’t advancing as quickly as I expected. I felt frustrated and stuck.
There was one specific event, a college match, where my perspective changed. Without going into too much detail, the match started as a train wreck, and I couldn’t see my way out of it. Thankfully, I was working with an incredible R1 that day. He focused my attention and got the match (and me) back on track. I thought to myself, that was the kind of Official I wanted to become.
At that moment, I got out of my ego and became proactive about my goals. Evaluations were constructive, but more significant was what I did with that information, which was key to my growth. I realized I needed to put in the work, self-reflect, and evaluate my practice. I reviewed my notes and identified common threads from my evaluators. I studied the USAV Rulebook and the USAV Casebook. I went through every module in the USAV Volleyball Academy. I reached out to mentors and asked questions. I absorbed more and blocked less.
Here I am, a decade later, still learning. I’ve found there’s always something new to experience and learn from. Not just rule sets, age groups, divisions, or levels, but the subtle nuances that experienced officials bring to the table. Could you have prevented the coach from getting to the sanction level? Could you have fixed it before the issue started? Have you considered the intonation of your voice and how players or coaches may perceive it? Is your cadence consistent? Did it influence the match? Do you engage new or experienced officials before and after your matches?
I still look for learning experiences with each assignment. I still ask questions, a lot of questions! I have a trusted group of colleagues whom I call for advice, opinions, expertise, and criticism; it’s a great way to grow. I’ll pick up new techniques and routines, and continue working on my craft, knowing that there is always more to learn. The time, patience, effort, and this fantastic community of officials are what turned my great expectations into big aspirations. I, slowly and surely, have become a vastly better official than I was when I started. I’ll continue looking forward to the next match and the next lesson.